I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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