I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
