I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
