There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Hippo gnu deer
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
