Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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