theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
