Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I can text with my tongue
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
