i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
