She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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