Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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