Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
