Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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