I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
