So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
