Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
