Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
then he tried to convert me to islam
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
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