Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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