I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize