Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
