Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
