Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize