also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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