im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
