your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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