There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
