Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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