dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
