hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
