If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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