This is not my ceiling
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Holy sore nipples Batman
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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