if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I will be naked everywhere
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
