how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
you win again, gameday.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
