Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
