My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
