My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
