I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
