Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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