Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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