I am in a vortex of obligation.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
