addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
