And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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