It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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