We're facebook friends in real life
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
