How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
