im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Randomize
