I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
