Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
