what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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