im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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