She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
