what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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