So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
