I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Can I color on your dick again?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
