The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
