You smell like stripper and shame
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
