I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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