hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
